Sometimes we don’t realize what we have until we lose it. However, is it necessary to always understand everything the hard way? Hesitating about where to take in life? Which profession to choose? What I recommend to all of my friends is one invaluable but difficult to follow principle. I believe that the best way to determine the character of a person or a given situation is by looking from a different perspective – an objective one. What do I mean?
The easiest way to maintain this principle is at night, when you are alone and finally have some spare minutes for yourself. Lie down and relax. Now, imagine that you go out of your body. Mentally go through your day again, but this time as a bystander. Don’t overthink, just remember. Now, if it is about a particular person and his qualities, once you’ve started observing him from the side, then just imagine watching yourself and him from above. Like they do with guinea pigs in experiments. Examine the whole situation and include everyone who is trying to guide you, to give you a “good advice”. Then, you only have to watch, from beginning to end, the movie you have just directed. Start recalling different stories without evaluating them, just remember. Pay attention to what exactly you’re recalling. When you’re done, it will be as if you’ve skimmed through the morning newspaper and you will be aware who, why, what, when and how. Things will begin to elucidate and you will feel a bit more aware of what is happening.
This same method applies for all other problems in your life. Go out of yourself and relive the situation with all its possible outcomes, no matter how ludicrous they might be. Just try them. If you can’t determine if a person is right for you, the easiest way to understand how you feel in his presence is by taking note of your recollections about him. You can count them, if you need to. For example – he constantly argues with you and you imagine him shouting at you, you put a minus; he is romantic, you put a plus, etc. Yet, don’t simply list qualities – recall specific situations in which he showed them. This is how, at the end, you will have a proof for yourself with concrete past events, if he is or is not the right person for you. By this, you will avoid silly comments and unwanted remarks from friends, who might not be thinking about your well-being. The described method can be applied always, in any situation, and the only thing you need is to find five minutes for yourself.